Kuwabara Gets Lost
by Kazima Kuwabara
Summary: i find this amusing. Kuwabara gets off on the wrong stop and get's lost in the city. When his friends come to look for him they must endure hookers, nude woman and more. Will they find Kuwabara? shurgs I'm not sayin'


you have no idea what its like to be running around with a story idea in your head for

eight hours...all my teachers like tried to smite me.  
Kuwabara: She doesn't own anything Yusuke: Hey Kuwabara congrats! You don't die!

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When Shizuru went to brush her teeth, she wasn't expecting to find her brother up at 7 in the morning on a Saturday, and starring at his naked chest in the mirror. She was going to ask what the hell he was doing, but she saw a pained expression on his face, and noticed his hand touched four circular, almost square scars. 'He must have had that nightmare about Toguro again.' Shizuru thought with a frown. She knew her baby brother very well, and knew that out of all their missions, the dark Tournament plagued his mind. She herself had had the nightmares of Toguro's hand slipping through her brother's chest, digging into his flesh.

"Kazu, have the dream?"

He looked at her startled, and then laughed, "Yeah...I died again..." He paused looking in the mirror at himself, "How do you think the others would react if I had died?" Shizuru shrugged pushing past him to get her things, "I don't know, split up maybe." She smiled at him slyly, "Or be thanking God for their good fortune!" She left him with that, and Kazuma Kuwabara felt even worse than when he had woken up.

A moment later he was dressed in a short sleeved white shirt, and wearing his favorite pair of blue jeans and dirty sneakers. Shizuru, who was now lighting up her cigarette, noticed he also had his book bag in his hand. "Your going to the shrine, what's with the bag?" Kuwabara leaned back in his chair, "Our next mission, Koenma gave me the tape because he's busy. That's why I'm taking the bus early to Genkai's shrine so that I can beat them." Looking at his watch, he pulled on his jacket, "Bye sis." She nodded, and when he kissed her temple she told him, "Call me when you get there." She was answered by an annoyed, "Yes mom," and then the shutting of the door."

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Shizuru did not know how much she wounded her brother in the bathroom, for her last comment plagued her young brothers mind. As he sat there waiting for the bus arrival he wondered to himself, 'Would they care if I was gone? If I had been killed then and there, would it matter to any of them?' As he boarded his bus, and sunk in his seat, he continued thinking, 'I know Urameshi would...with all those tears he had...but he would probably get over it...we had so many missions he probably wouldn't have had any time for grief...I'd be forgotten.'

He clutched at his bag a little tighter, 'Maybe Hiei wouldn't have left the group...nah...he's probably do that anyway. What about the Sensui deal? I wouldn't have been kidnaped, so what would happen? Keiko might have been taken. No if he took Keiko, Urameshi would figure out he was a demon pretty quick and kick Sensui's asx.'

"Kid, this is the last stop." The bus driver said turning around, "Thanks." Kuwabara got off the bus, and when the bus pulled out he realized too late, that this was definitely night the right stop. "Wait did he say LAST STOP! AH CRIPES! GENKAI'S SHRINE IS ON THE FIRST!" Looking around, and wishing he was dead, he saw he was in a very large dirty looking city. Looking down at his street, he found he had stepped on a needle. He jumped back, and bumped into a very loose looking woman. Pressing her rock hard, fake boobs to Kuwabara she smiled at him, "Hi." Kuwabara starred at her, and scooted away, "Uh...Bye"  
She caught his arm, "Not interested in woman?-JAMES! OVER HERE NOW!" A man, not too much older than Kuwabara appeared dressed as outlandishly as the woman. He was definitely not japanese with his pale skin, green eyes and light blonde hair.

Smiling the man pressed Kuwabara to him, and whispered in his ear, "Lets step into my office." Pale and blushing, Kuwabara managed to get free and ran for his life. He stopped running to sit on a doorstep, and breathe. "Oh man...DAMXIT! IF I HADN'T BEEN THINKING STUPID THINGS...ugh!" He sighed resting in his hands, and even though he didn't want to think about it anymore, the question from this morning, still swam in his head.

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"Where the hell is he." Yusuke sighed lying On geakai's porch. Kurama was sitting on the stair steps, and smiled, "Maybe he was delayed?" Hiei snorted, "By two hours? Hmf...baXtard overslept." Yusuke heard a ringing sound, and pulled out his cell.

"Kuwabara's home phone number, he's probably calling to tell us he's sorry." Yusuke answered and sighed, "Kuwabara where are you?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

Yusuke sat up startled, "Shizuru?"

"Yeah...I told Kuwabara to call me when he got there...Is he not there? He took the bus a little over two hours ago."

Yusuke's stomach was churning, "What?"

"Yeah...are you sure he's not like...stuffed under the porch or something because he pissed Hiei off?"

"No...Shizuru we'll look for him, don't get worried."

"I'M NOT WORRIED! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M WORRIED!"

She was shouting more but Yusuke had to pull the phone away from his ear in fear that it would fall off. He hung up, and looked at his friends, who had all turned to look at him when they heard Shizuru's screaming voice. "He's missing?" Kurama asked brow furrowed in disbelief. Hiei's attention was caught to, and when Yusuke said yes to Kurama's question he asked, "What the fool's lost!" Yusuke rose, concern putting a wrinkle in his brow. "I don't know...we'll just have to go look for him...We'll get Boeton, she'll be able to track his spirit down." Hiei snorted, "I can't believe it, he's lost!"

Yusuke gave Hiei a sharp look and growled, "He's not lost!"

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"I'M LOST!"

Kuwabara moaned banging his head onto his book bag. He muttered oaths under his breath about how he was stupid, and had the brains of a rock. A small sound made him jump, and turning he was surprised to find a little girl. She was sitting in a box, and looked absolutely terrified that he'd seen her. He starred at the girl, who was maybe 11 years old, and saw her tattered clothes. He took off his jacket, and went to give it to her. The girl squeaked and shielded her face.

Her eyes opened when something soft dropped on her. She pulled the soft thing down to find the young man had dropped his jacket on top of her head, and was now walking away with his book bag. She starred at him, and held the jacket tears in her eyes, no one had ever showed her such kindness or generosity.

Kuwabara sighed as he went out on his own. He wondered how long he'd been here now? All the payphones were broke, and he didn't dare go up and ask anyone if they had a cell phone. After at least another hour of walking he found a hotel, that didn't look too bad. It didn't look good, but it didn't look bad. Entering the hotel a very well dressed and clean looking man approached him, "Would you like a room sir." Kuwabara sighed, his luck was turning around...

"Uh well I need to use a phone-"

"There's a phone in the room, you can use it in there."

"That's nice but I just need to make a call-"

"I'm sure you can call all your friends and tell them how you scored after your done."

Kuwabara raised his eyebrow, "What?"

The man clapped his hands, and several attractive, naked woman entered the room, smiling at Kuwabara. Kuwabara went pale, and without another word hauled his butt outta there! He was running so fast, he hadn't noticed he lost his shoe outside the hotel's door. In fact, he noticed nothing until her ran headlong into another man. Now laying sprawled on the floor, and in serious pain from banging his head, he turned to see he'd smashed into a severely pissed gang member. Kuwabara sighed at the nine guys that surrounded him. "Oh brother."

"Well look what we have here!" The gang member laughed as Kuwabara rose with his bag in hand. Kuwabara sighed as all of them pulled out weapons such as chains, broken beer bottles, pocket knives, and even some sharp chunks of metal. "A sissy boy!" One laughed. They began cat calling and whistling at Kuwabara who looked more annoyed then anything else. The leader took his place in front of Kuwabara looking into his eyes. "Poor boy, this just isn't your lucky day." Without a word he took his pocket knife, and slashed Kuwabara's arm, flinging the blood at his laughing gang members.

"That was free."

The man turned his head to look at him too late, and his eyes went wide with intense pain as Kuwabara punched him in the face. Kuwabara looked down at the unconscious man, "I wasn't even trying." He snarled at him. Someone grabbed his injured arm from behind, and Kuwabara spun around kicking him into a group of other men. Kuwabara looked at hiS injured arm sighing annoyed, the man had ripped off his sleeve. "DamXit...I liked this shirt."

Now angry the men attacked Kuwabara from all sides, but within in minutes, they were all brought to their knees. His shirt was now only hanging onto his body by one of his arms, and Kuwabara held one last thug in grip by then end of it all, "Tell me, which way do I go to leave this city." Trembling the man pointed, and Kuwabara let him go, stalking off. The only injury was the "free hit" Kuwabara had let the gang leader have. After another hour off walking, and the sun now high in the sky he saw the sigh for exiting town, and feeling better jogged towards it.

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"Why did I have to come?" Koenma grouchily asked as Boeton led him on. Yusuke rolled his eyes, "Because Boeton didn't want to leave without you coming with her!" Boeton smiled sheepishly, but clutched Koenma's arm. She didn't like the city. Every ten seconds someone died, and they weren't the nicest people to deal with when she came to take them to spirit world. Kurama looked around at the grungy city, "You sure this is where you feel Kuwabara?" Boeton nodded, "Much to my regret."

"GO AWAY!"

The group turned away to see Hiei backing away from a female hooker, who was inviting him to come over. "Be a dear and come to mama." Yusuke was trying not to laugh at Hiei's obviously startled face. "Hiei's afraid of hookers!" He snorted, and finally burst when Hiei dove behind Kurama. "Uh excuse me ma'm." Kurama said smiling uneasily, "Have you seen our friend?" Kurama held up a picture, "Yeah James and I saw him, James tried to get him to come on over into his office," She giggled, everyone going pale. "James?" Yusuke asked eyes wide. "Did he um...go into his office?" The woman shook her head, "No he ran that way!"

The group gave her theIR thanks and took off running down the streets. They only stopped when they came upon a girl, wearing Kuwabara's jacket. "Hey kid!" Yusuke called to her, grabbing her by her arm. The girl screamed, and cried, "Don't hurt me, I don't have anything." Yusuke shushed the girl, "I'm not going to hurt you-" he snatched the picture of Kuwabara from Kurama, "Have you seen this man? Huh?" She nodded, "He saw me, and gave me this jacket...no one's ever been that nice to me before." Kurama smiled at the girl, "Well they should start."

He looked at her, and called Boeton over, and whispered something in her ear. Boeton smiled, and took the girl's hand, "Would you like to go where there are more nice people?" The girl smiled, "Yeah..." Boeton lead her away, everyone looking at Kurama, "What did you do?" Koenma asked watching Boeton leave. "Gave Boeton an address to a home that will help the girl." Koenma nodded in approval and clapped his hands, "Well I guess I'm not needed." he turned to go, but Yusuke grabbed him by his shirt, "Oh no you don't! Your coming, this is your fault anyway!"

"My fault?" Koenma cried.

"Yes! Your fault!" Yusuke glared at him, "If YOU hadn't decided to be lazy and give Kuwabara the mission, so that he could give it to us, HE wouldn't have somehow gotten lost here!" Koenma sighed, "Well I can't argue with that logic..." He sighed as they dragged him off. They only released him when Yusuke cried, "A SHOE!" Koenma sighed, "Yes we have those." Yusuke glared at him, "NO! Kuwabara's shoe!" He held up Kuwabara's shoe, while Hiei looked at the hotel door it's been by. "He might have gone in here." Kurama said opening the door. "What for a nap?" Hiei snorted but then was stunned into silence as Kurama said, "Or maybe he was taken in here by force...I don't think Kuwabara would just leave his shoe...do you?"

The small group walked in and ran into a very nicely dressed man. Not even waiting for him to introduce himself, Kurama held up the picture of their friend, "Have you seen this man." The man nodded, "Yes he ran out of here...oh a few hours ago! Right ladies?" The groups faces turned red, and their eyes went wide as they were surrounded by naked woman.

"Oh...my God!"

"Mom's gonna kill me!"

"Dear God, now I understand the leaving of the shoe!"

The four ran out of the hotel, and only stopped when they tripped over a long object. "What the hell!" Yusuke looked down at a very beat up looking man. "I think Kuwabara was here." Koenma said pointing out all the injured men. Hiei walked over to a man who held something in his arm. "Yusuke..." Yusuke turned to Hiei who held up a bloody sleeve. "Is that Kuwabara's!" Yusuke cried fear making his voice shake. Kurama took the bloody sleeve in his hands, and sniffed it lightly, his strong nose recognizing the scent. "It's Kuwabara's blood." Yusuke's eyes narrowed and he grabbed the nearest man in sight and began shaking him until he woke. "WHERE IS MY FRIEND?" Hiei held the bloody sleeve in his face, and the man whispered, "He said somthin' 'bout leavin' town..." Yusuke dropped him grabbed the bloody sleeve, tucked it into the shoe, and headed for the edge of town, the others following closely behind.

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Kuwabara sat out on an old bench in the middle of no where. The sun was now a bit lower in the sky and he guessed it was maybe around 3:00. He sighed, closing his eyes. His arm was now aching, and he was ready to goto sleep. He still had the book bag, but he now let it rest at his side. His arm bled freely, though most of the wound was caked over, and dried into rusty flakes, a slow trickle still wen down his arm.

"You there!"

Kuwabara sat up to see an older man, and two small children at the man's side. They were on top of the biggest tractor he'd ever seen. "Uh..." The man was looking him over, and then smiled, "You need some help boy...I see your hurt...I'm the doctor for our town, it's only a mile or so away. We'll take you there." Kuwabara smiled, "Yeah..." Forgetting his bag, he climbed on the tractor, the little boy and girl giggling when Kuwabara literally tripped into the seat.

The bag sat on the bench, alone and waiting for anyone to come along.

Not an hour later, Koenma, Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama showed up. Koenma was the first to spot the bag. "What is he doing, leaving us a trail of bread crumbs?" Hiei sighed annoyed that it was taking this long to find him. "Look." Kurama pointed to a blood puddly on the bench. "He must still be bleeding." Yusuke growled aggravated, "HE HASN'T FIXED HIS ARM! THAT IDIOT...OH I COULD JUST...UGGGGHHH!" As Yusuke began kicking up dust, and using several colorful words, Kurama exsploered the contents of the bag. "IS this the video tape of our next mission?" Koenma nodded, "Uh yeah...but shouldn't we go find Kuwabara?"

Yusuke stopped in his yelling, and sighed walking off, "Come on." Thirty minutes later, the small group stopped in their tracks at a crowd of people huddled around a farm house. "What the hell?" Yusuke looked at all the people who seemed to be trying to peek over one another's shoulder to see something.

Koenma approached a short old woman and asked, "What's going on." The woman turned to him, "Dr. Mura iS helping some kid whose cut." Kurama meanwhile had walked over to a young man and asked, "Excuse me but what's going on over there?" The man rubbed his chin, "Some kid was stabbed, and the doctor's trying to help him." Not three feet away from Kurama Hiei asked another man what was going on. "Oh some poor kid is in critical condition and the doctor is trying to help him." Yusuke tapped a woman's shoulder who turned to him, and before he could say anything she asked, "Did you hear? People up front are saying this copper haired man just died from a serious stab wound!" The three rekai and prince of spirit world let out loud gasps and barged through the crowd crying out Kuwabara's name.

When they reached inside they found the one they'd been searching for sitting alive and well in a chair as an old man stitched up his arm, and two kids giggled as he made faces "KUWABARA!" Yusuke cried, the copper haired man turning to look at him.

Kuwabara leapt up as soon as the man was done stitching him up and embraced his friends who were all yelling at him for the hectic day. Yusuke grabbed him by his shirt, and threatened, "Kuwabara I swear to God if you ever, EVER, do something like this again, I'll kill you! You have any idea how freaked out I was. Kuwabara smiled sheepishly,

"Oops?"

"What's this?"

The small boy had quietly taken the tape out of the bag and placed it in the VCR. As it played Koenma began to scoot away. The four rekai watched as Koenma appeared on the screen and said, "Your next mission is to...TAKE THE DAY OFF ENJOY YOURSELVES!" All four rekai, with anger burning in their eyes turned at once screaming one name, "KOENMA!"

END

dumb...dumb...dumb as rock. 


End file.
